Low Blood Sugar Incident on a Ship
I’ve always been vocal about having type 1 diabetes. I’m the first to bring it up and I’m always ready to answer any questions others may have. I want everyone to be comfortable and have all the information they can on what could happen and know what to do in case it does. Especially when I’m on a ship or out in the middle of nowhere.
Sometimes this has been difficult because not everyone wants to hear about it. Not everyone is open to learning and hearing about difficult topics. I try not to let this deter me, but it can be difficult sometimes. It’s important to me that my friends, family, and coworkers know what to do in case of an emergency. I want to be able to count on those who are close to me.
Going Above and Beyond
In a previous blog post, I shared an old protocol I created for previous coworkers on how to recognize and react to my low blood sugars. I did this because we used to live and work on a ship for 2-3 weeks at a time, without coming to land during that whole time. In order to protect myself and my fellow shipmates, I wanted to do everything I could to make everyone comfortable and safe when sailing with me.
I did not need to do this; it wasn’t recommended by anyone. I just know that people can be uncomfortable bringing up something like type 1 diabetes. My thought process was if I could get ahead of it, it would make the whole process easier.
In order to live and work on a boat everyone must pass a health questionnaire, which I always did. The people in charge knew I had type 1 diabetes and cleared me to sail. By getting medically cleared, it was clear to myself and everyone else that I was cleared and safe to be on the ship.
I Thought I Had Support
At first there were some of my coworkers that seemed supportive of me and this protocol. I would show them where all my supplies were in my room on the ship. Where they could go or where they could inform others where my emergency supplies were.
At first, I felt safe with them but unfortunately that didn’t last.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t convince others to help me or be ready if something went wrong. You can do everything right, you can put others’ needs and comfort in front of your own, but you can’t control how others will react. (This is a life lesson I wish I would have known back then.)
This is a story about some of the people I didn’t feel safe with. People who at first, I thought genuinely had my back, but didn’t. It’s hard for me to relive and write about this, but it’s an important story to tell.
In the Beginning
A three-week long research cruise was coming to an end. Everyone was trying to switch back to a “normal” daytime schedule. (Our regular shifts on the ship were a 12-12. Either noon to midnight, or midnight to noon.) It was during this time that I started to feel unwell, and told some of my coworkers that I was going to my bunk to lie down. What I didn’t realize at the time was that my blood sugar number had gone low. I was out of it and didn’t realize that I needed food right away. Once I got to my bunk, I kept dozing off to sleep.
Checking In
At some point one of my coworkers came to check on me. I don’t really remember much of the details of this check-in. All I remember is that I think she did care, but she was also uncomfortable. At the time I had convinced myself that I was fine, and didn’t need any help. (Oh boy, was I wrong!) I’m pretty sure I told her that I was fine (when in fact I wasn’t) so she left probably concerned. (I do hope that she tried to bring me juice or a snack and I just wasn’t receptive. I honestly don’t know; I just hope that is what she did.)
At some point one of my other coworkers had enough. She barged into my room with a container full of food and forced me to eat. She was not being mean or disrespectful; she was saving me. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for her intrusion.
This was an incredibly supportive act for this particular coworker. She was very strict and authoritative about it, which was exactly what I needed. I am and will always be grateful to this person. Eventually another coworker came in and we started talking and laughing. I found out later that this made my other coworkers believe that I was actually okay.
After this incident no one brought this up with me, and I had convinced myself they were uncomfortable with the situation and didn’t want to help. Looking back, I wish I would have immediately spoken with them about it to see what they did, how they felt, and reiterate what to do if this were to happen again.
Looking Back
It’s hard for me to think about it now, as I had convinced myself that my coworkers didn’t care enough to help me. It didn’t matter how much extra I did to try and help them, when it came down to it, it didn’t matter. I had to stop telling myself that it didn’t matter how much I did or didn’t do, my coworkers would have likely reacted the same way. I’m sure they were scared of the situation and didn’t know what to do. Regardless of their reasoning, the fact that they didn’t react well hurt me.
I did eventually talk to the one coworker who took charge and made me eat some food. She told me that she was also upset with the rest of them and didn’t understand why she was the one who had to do something. (This particular coworker didn’t work directly with me; we were from different programs and organizations. We were always friendly and helpful to one another, but she thought it should have been someone from my team to go in and make me eat). I can see why she thought that. But either way, I’m glad she helped and I wasn’t shy about telling her so.
The Lesson I Learned
Sometimes life will get in the way and all you have control over is you and your actions. It’s easy to get hung up on how others react and what others do and do not do. Being able to move on and forgive can be the most difficult thing you can do, but you’ll be happier for it.
